All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
