I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
