Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
