It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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