no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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