too bad you live with your parents still
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A+ Viking dick
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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