I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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