DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
