So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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