How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Congratulations! We have a period
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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