Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
