Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
