You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
