Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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