oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
