Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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