I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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