I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
