Welp...herpes.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
