You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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