what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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