So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
