His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
