hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
