3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
