In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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