I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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