zippers are such a cool invention
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
