seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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