May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize