there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
