please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't deserve a penis
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
