once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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