I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize