too bad you live with your parents still
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
