The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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