): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
