Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
