belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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