she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
this is an emotional support booty call
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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