I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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