To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
