And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
