Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
