Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
