i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
