Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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