Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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