you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
