No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize