my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
