twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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