people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
