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• (812): View more from Indiana

  She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9

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• (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it

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• 

  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"

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• (979): View more from Texas

  There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right

  (631): View more from New York

  Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15

  (585): View more from New York

  hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  wine lets you be on time to class apparently

  (619): View more from California

  This is a dangerous realization

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• 

  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg his dad is hot

  (410): View more from Maryland

  ... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.

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• (858): View more from California

  Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.

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