Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.