Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?

  (805): View more from California

  Don't drive home.

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  (619): do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ? (805): Don't drive home. http://tfl.nu/8ed1
  Replies (40) Good night (1430) Bad night (3033)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

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  (512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj
  Replies (35) Good night (1418) Bad night (7821)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.

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  (412): Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody. http://tfl.nu/qy8l
  Replies (7) Good night (1043) Bad night (5005)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (980) Bad night (4785)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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  (336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things. http://tfl.nu/s0f9
  Replies (23) Good night (4078) Bad night (1110)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

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  (204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head. http://tfl.nu/a92s
  Replies (25) Good night (4752) Bad night (1140)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

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  (604): every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water http://tfl.nu/5vey
  Replies (8) Good night (3337) Bad night (878)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday

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  (419): I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday http://tfl.nu/dtfw
  Replies (8) Good night (3726) Bad night (929)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.

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  (970): Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day. http://tfl.nu/cvyh
  Replies (10) Good night (1464) Bad night (1354)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.

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  (970): Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine. http://tfl.nu/g50l
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (520)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.

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  (816): I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose. http://tfl.nu/acx3
  Replies (0) Good night (1053) Bad night (499)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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  (425): The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch http://tfl.nu/197l
  Replies (7) Good night (503) Bad night (270)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  this hospital has no fireball

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  (256): this hospital has no fireball http://tfl.nu/h1f7
  Replies (4) Good night (528) Bad night (310)
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  (530): View more from California

  I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that

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  (530): I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that http://tfl.nu/q232
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (251)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested

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  (301): What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested http://tfl.nu/1943
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (226)

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