Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
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i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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