After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we're so committed to being not committed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize