I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
