went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
