He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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