You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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